The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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