Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
