Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
