Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just tell him i said nine months
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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