fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
