Your mouth is God's brothel.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
