Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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