reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
