You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
