dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
