I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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