Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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