Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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