i already hear my dad disowning me
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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