I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
But theres a keg here and me gusta
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
