can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
