We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
