I woke up to her vacumming the grass
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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