these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
