My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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