I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
