I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
