Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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