Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
