I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
