We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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