no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
