That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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