you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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