3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
