I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
