he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
