I smell stomach acid.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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