I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize