You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
