Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
