i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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