let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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