splinters make it hard to masturbate
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
