with your own penis?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize