If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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