I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
