You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
