where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She told me I should be a condom model.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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