Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize