grandma shit on top of the toilet
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
