If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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