i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
