I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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