Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
