I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
