Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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