good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
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Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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