Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Randomize
