What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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