We won't sleep together?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
