God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
