somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
