Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
